Customer service at it's finest

We got a bunch of AMEX giftcards for Christmas and are using the cards to buy a new camera from Amazon. The giftcards don't cover the full cost of the camera, and that is where my issues start.

1) Amazon recognizes AMEX giftcards as a credit card, and they only allow 1 credit card to make a purchase
2) I had to purchase an Amazon giftcard using my debit card for the remainder price of the camera
3) stupid AMEX doesn't tell you that for online purchases you should first register your card, so Amazon has taken $1 from my giftcard during the verification process and won't refund it for 7 days.
4) since they took that $1, I'm now $.49 SHORT of my stupid order, and had to buy another $5 (lowest amount) Amazon giftcard to cover the balance.

I've spent more time on the phone today with Indian, than Indian people.

Decorating issues

Without a fireplace mantel, where on earth will I display my "Mother of the Year" award? Mother of the Year award you ask? Yep, I won it for my "excellence in Mothering" yesterday.

Jack and I were out and about running errands yesterday and he insisted that I treat myself to Wendy's on the way home. Who I am to question the logic of an 8 month old? About 1 mile from home he made it clear that he was SLEEPY. Upon getting in to the house, he made it clear that he was also POOPING.

He's been having painful poops for a few days, and when it's happening he insists on being picked up and will freak out if set down. I picked him up and held him in my arms while he was still wearing his jacket and shoes. I decided to breastfeed him thinking that would calm him down enough to then change his diaper. Turns out he was SO sleepy that he fell right asleep, and there begins my actions that brought me the mother of the year award.

I realized if he was sooooo tired he probably needed sleep more than a diaper change. I decided that I would put him in his crib (with likely a poopy diaper, shoes, and a coat) and if he woke up I would change him and put him in to more appropriate napping attire. He ended up sleeping like that for almost 2 hrs because he was just wiped. I even vacuumed around him and checked on him multiple times to make sure he was ok and he didn't move a muscle.

He did have a sweet zipper mark on his face when he woke up though. And I enjoyed my Wendy's in peace.

I died from cuteness this am

I dropped Jack off at GAC's this am, and waved goodbye as I was leaving. Jack turned around and waved back at me. He hasn't waved on his own yet, and of course he did it perfectly this am. Awww

A great way to make a difference in someone's life

I read this story the other day on CNN and thought it was such a cool idea. Awesome heartwarming story!

If you're interested in donating a few bucks, check out the list of needs here: Modest Needs

Baby food

Jack has been an adventurous little eater lately...partly because I've been an adventurous baby food chef. Jack's Auntie Megan bought me the Babea Cook (get it? ha!) baby food maker last year for Christmas, and man that thing gets a work out! And yes, Amy, you'll get it when your kiddo is ready for solids.

I love making baby food because it's cheaper than buying the jars, allows me to control what he's eating, and because of my hippiness, allows me to make sure that he's eating primarily organic. You don't need a fancy baby food maker though - a steamer basket and a blender works great! I love these for storing the food: http://babycubes.com/. Watch the site for sales, because I got all of mine for 75% off last year.

Jack's favorite "breakfast" seems to be apples with blueberries, with an occasional smashed banana mixed in. For lunch/dinner, he enjoys "Momma's Thanksgiving Feast" which is sweet potatoes, cranberries, apples, pears, turkey, peas, and carrots all steamed and blended together.

My newest creation is "Jackie Bear's Hell's Kitchen" meal. Troy worked for 3 or 4 seasons on Hell's Kitchen, and as you know if you watch the show, Chef Ramsey is all about his f$#king risotto!

Jack's baby risotto (recipe based on "Cooking for Baby" cookbook from Williams and Sonoma. Another rockstar gift from Megan!):
1/2 cup of Arborio rice
1 cup of no sodium added chix stock or water
little bit of olive oil
veggie of your choice (I used peas)
meat of your choice (I used organic chicken thighs. They were cheaper than breasts (hee hee) and have more flavor

Bring water to a boil and add rice. Remove from heat and let stand covered for 15 minutes, stirring once. Fluff with fork. In blender, mix veggie and chicken - add to rice. Will be good in the fridge for 3 days, or 3 months in the freezer. I add a bit of water before I serve it to J since it thickens up when cold.

An imporant reminder from Jack Barry

Jack would like to remind everyone, that in these tough economic times, you don't need to spend a lot of money - or any to be happy. One truly only needs a free box from Costco.

And Jack, your Grandpa John would like to remind you and all babies out there that box cars are not "freaking toys". You need to make sure to check the oil, get your lug nuts torqued after 25 miles on new tires, and all windows need to be washed 3 times before they're considered clean.

It was bound to happen at some point...

...I, Sarah, was proven wrong. I'm sure you're all as shocked as I am by this. But, it is a joyous mistake on my part!

My sis is almost 19 weeks pregnant, and I've been CONVINCED the kiddo is a girl. She had her ultrasound yesterday, and turns out - Boy! Everything looks good, and Jack is so excited to have a little boy cousin to play in the mud, pee in the snow, and throw plastic hatchets at trees.

Myself, I'm happy to have a place to unload all of Jack's boy clothes and toys! Amy & Brian, you're about to get an avalanche of crap...

Isn't he adorable...err handsome?

The proof they say, is in the pudding

Meeting Santa

"Hey Momma & Poppa, thanks for bringing me to the mall with you! I love when we get to spend quality time together": "What the deuce? Who are you? That beard looks scratchy": "Start the car. I am officially DONE with family time at the mall. And Momma, you better not put this on your stupid blog.":

He stands

This am as J was playing in a box, he decided to grab the side of it, lift himself up, and kind of teetered in there for a bit. Life is about to get really interesting in our house...

The box is courtesy of one of Jack's godmothers, Auntie Anne. She sent him a really fun toy for Christmas that is currently under the tree. But, J gets to play with the box until then.

All aboard the S.S. Jackie Bear! And yes, he looks so tired because the little butthole woke up 4-5 times last night, and then woke up early this morning.

And just for Anne: "I'm on a boat motherf@#ker!"

Tales from community college...

We have what we call "helicopter parents". They are parents who refuse to let their children do anything on their own and "hover". They come to my information sessions with their kids, and they come to their advising appointments, and they're really screwing their kids over in the long run by not giving them any independence. Thanks mom & dad for not being one of these parents and letting Amy and I make our own choices (and mistakes).

From today:
:ring ring:
S: hello, this is Sarah
Helicopter parent: yes, this is Mrs. xxxx. I'm trying to register my daughter for a Biology class and need an entry code.
S: I'd be happy to help you with that. Can you please tell me which Biology?
HP: Hold on let me text my daughter and ask her.
S: perhaps you could give me her phone number and I can talk to her directly since she is the student trying to take the class
HP: ok, here is her number. But please wait 30 seconds so that I can text her to tell her that you're calling.

Oy

Any accountants read this blog?

I'm trying to finagle a tax deduction...

I donated 50 oz of frozen breastmilk to the friend of a friend with a tongue-tied baby. I can't use the milk for Jack since it contains dairy, so I was happy to find a home for it.

Currently, breastmilk goes for $4 per oz from a milk bank. So....I'm wondering if I would be playing with fate if I claimed $200 in "charitable donations" on my taxes for 2009? What could possibly be more charitable than liquid from ones breasts?

In a perfect world, it would count.

FINALLY, a product for the masses!

How many times have you thought: "I sure wish my undies smelled like a forest, but keeping a fresh tree in my dresser seems so inpractical"? Well, I found something at my local grocery store that solves your problem.

Merry Christmas!

The talking continues & blog name change

Jack has now said "Poppa" and "Da da" when Troy is mentioned or he sees Troy. It's pretty darn adorable. He also says something that sounds like "Barbara" which is my mom's name so we're going to go ahead and assume he is truly saying Barbara. "Momma" has been heard multiple times since last week.

Additionally, thanks to Aunt Connie, we have seen via video he can sign "more" during mealtime.

In blogging news, it is time to change the name of this blog! I'll keep the address, but am looking for a new name and layout design. Please post your recommendations for a new blog name in the comments sections! I love your creativity ladies (and Dad who reads this but can't figure out how to post a comment...), so help me out!

Just like Kevin Spacey,

Jack is verbal! At 2:31 this morning, Jack clear as day said "Momma"!!

Troy was changing his diaper (Jack's diaper, not Troy's) and as usual, Jack was crying because for some reason he hates diaper changes from 6:00 pm - 6:00 am. Anyhoo, I walked in to his room and sat down on his chair to get ready to feed him when Troy had finished.

Jack looked over at me and said "Mommmmma"; it was clear as day and both Troy and I heard it!

He's also been saying "ba ba" for the last few days, and makes a popping sound which I think might be "Poppa"(?).

Looks like I need to stop swearing...

My little sleeping angel:

Note: Mom & Dad, I'll explain the Kevin Spacey reference at dinner on Sunday.

I love Washington

People always say things like "Seattle is rainy and gray. Why would you live there"? I respond that it is green, has gorgeous scenery, is often sunny (we had something like 163 days in a row this year where it didn't drop below 60 degrees), and people are friendly. But the REAL reason that I love Seattle, is that things like this happen here:

Police: Drunk 'ninja' impaled on First Hill fence post
A drunk man believing himself to be a ninja drew the help of Seattle police and aid crews late Monday after impaling himself on a First Hill fence post, a police spokesperson said.
The man's ninja skills, it seems, were bested by the 4- to 5-foot-tall fence he attempted to vault, according to the police statement. He ended up stuck on a spike atop the fence in the 600 block of Seventh Avenue.
After an officer in the area heard the man's screams and located him at about 11:15 p.m., Seattle Fire Department personnel were able to free the man. They took him to Harborview Medical Center, where officers attempted to ascertain exactly what the would-be silent assassin was up to.
"The male claimed he was not being chased, but rather he thought he was a ninja and would be able to successfully leap over the 4'-5' fence," the police spokesman said in a statement. "Clearly he was overconfident in his abilities, no doubt bolstered by alcohol."

http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/185393.asp

In my dreams...

...I am at the helm of a steamroller, barreling towards my terrified and shaking Medela Pump. The pump puts his arms up (I guess that would be the tubing?) screaming "Please no! Please be kind, don't squish me"!

I am cold-hearted and the pleas for leniency don't sway me. I continue on with a maniacal grin on my face. I get closer and closer and an evil laughter begins to escape from my mouth. At this point, the pump is crying - leaking the milk that I just pumped - and telling me to consider his family. I call him a liar; pumps are machine and don't have family. Besides, his demise means I have more time with MY family.

My mind is made up, and I refuse to bend. I push the accelerator down to the floor (do steamrollers have accelerators??), and roll over the pump as he lets out a sickening scream. The pump is no more, and I am free.

Prayers for a friend please

Please send any good thoughts and prayers you can to my little friend Aidan who has H1N1. Thank you!

A recipe for the best day ever

Mix:

1 part adorable baby boy

1 part gorgeous baby girl
1 part pumpkin
Stir together, and add in the best homemade donuts EVER. Pop in the oven, bake at 350, and voila, the best day ever.

Yesterday we drove down to Portland to meet up with our friends Brian and Lulu, and their scrumptious little sprite Bria. Troy and Jack both did well in the car despite being anxious to get out of their respective seats.

We arrived at Lee's farm - which Troy quickly dubbed "the Oregon Disneyland" - and were met by what seemed like millions of kids, billions of pumpkins, and perhaps the one of the most delicious smells wafting through the air.

Once Brian, Lulu, and Bria arrived (along with Brian's sis and her friend), Jack gave them a warm welcome with a big smile, and we quickly got to picture taking! Sadly, Bria assumed the pumpkins were out to get her, while Jack assumed pumpkins are grown simply for the fun activity of slapping.

We call this one "pumpkins bitches": Jack with an evil grin on his face while he pulls my hair and flips the camera the bird:

Troy and Brian showing where McNuggets come from:

Bria getting "handsy" with Jack...while licking his head:

We found the original Gerber baby!:

Momma, Poppa & Jackie Bear:

Momma & Jack:

A box of gourds seems like an appropriate playpen for a 6 month old...:

Bria, Lulu, Bria, Jack, Me, Troy, Creepy pumpkin thing:

Risque hand holding:

There, there Bria, the pumpkins won't hurt you:

How could I forget?

How could I forget to post such a priceless moment as this?

About a month ago, Troy was driving in his truck with Jack and noticed extreme concentration (bad sign) on Jack's very red face (very bad sign). What happened next is not for the faint of heart, but it resulted in Troy having to pull over on the side of the road to change Jack. It also resulted in this priceless photo that was sent to my phone by Troy:

J's first cold

Jack came down with his first cold yesterday. I'm staying home today and he doesn't quite know how to deal with feeling under the weather. But, if he were a British warship, he'd be the HMS CrankyPants. If he were a robot, he'd be the Clingyster 5000.

The sweet spot

We are now in the sweet spot of parenthood. Jack is pretty much finally sleeping through the night - excluding 1 occasional wake up a night - he's happy (and adorable), and is not yet talking back! Let's just press the "pause" button shall we?

Here is Jack at his friend Kaidin's birthday. It was his first time on a swing. When was the last time you were this blissful?

In dirty hippy news, I have developed a mad and torrid love affair with canning. I canned 22 jars of peaches by myself (A LOT of freaking work that I wasn't prepared for), a buttload of jars of applesauce with my sister, and 20 jars of pears with the help of my mom and sister. Later this week I've roped Troy in to helping with some more pears. I bought the final strawberries of the season from a local market, and will be making Troy's favorite - jam - tonight.

When it's January and snowing, I'll be happy to open a jar of summer yumminess.

Jacky Bear Pets Poppa

This is Jack about 4 1/2 months old petting poppa's hand while in the car. What a sweet boy he is.

Lots of changes in our house

Jack has gotten ridiculously big and grown up in the last few weeks. It's hard to believe my little man who used to look like a tiny little baby burrito in his swaddle is now so mature! He now sits very well on his own...assuming you can convince him to bend at the waist as he prefers to stand. And, as of Friday the 18th, he is the proud owner of one lower tooth!

In health news, Jack started to poop blood again about a week ago, so back to the doctor for us...again. Turns out the official diagnosis is milk colitis, so I'm off delicious dairy...again. I can try introducing it back in when Jack is 9 months. Le sigh.

The new job continues to go well, and Jack has been having lots of fun staying with Great Uncle Jim and Great Aunt Connie while Troy and I are at work. It's hard to be away from him, but it makes the time we have with him on the weekends extra special. Yesterday, Troy and Jack hung out for a few hours and snuggled up for a long nap so that I could can some peaches. I've never canned peaches before, but I got a great deal at a local produce stand, and thought I would try my hand at it. I now know why they say that canning is a team sport! I made 22 jars of peaches, and miraculously managed to not burn down the house, burn, or cut myself. Assuming I don't kill us all, Amy and I are going to make and can some applesauce next weekend.

Jack and Uncle Jim taking a nap after a long day of playing:

JB in the owl hat GAC knitted:
Mr. Grown up sitting up all on his own:

Momma & Jackie snuggling in his crib:

Proof that expensive toys are a waste of money...:

What a big boy!

Jack is such a big boy these days! It's hard to believe the same little guy who could barely breastfeed, is now holding a sippy cup with his giant man hands.

Jack has spent the last month staring at us while we eat and drink, which is a sign that he is ready for solids. We're waiting until 6 months just to be cautious about food allergies, but have started to spoon feed him breastmilk during dinner time. Given that he spends 25% of his day watching people eat*, he knows EXACTLY what to do. The first time we put a spoon near his mouth he opened up wide and practically attacked our hand trying to shove the spoon in.

He also loves to play with his sippy cup, and probably gets about 1 tblsp total out of it during a 30 minute dinner. If we hold it in his mouth he'll chug the water, but we usually just let him play with it himself. It keeps him occupied and is good practice!

*there was one day where Jack was watching Uncle Jim eat some pot roast so intently that I think Jim actually felt guilty about eating in front of him.

Hello strangers!

We've been on a bit of a blogcation for the last few weeks. It has been a mother-freakin' whirlwind in our household!

I got a new job! I wasn't supposed to leave my last job until October-ish, but an opportunity presented itself earlier, so I jumped on it. I'm now in-charge of advising and recruiting nursing students at a local community college. It's an enormous paycut, but the worklife/balance is so much better than my last job! I already miss everyone at my last company, but I guess everyone moves on at some point.

I also got the job 36 hrs before they wanted me to start - YIKES. We were scrambling to find childcare for Jackie Bear and totally stressing out. Our church daycare had an opening, but after enrolling Jack in their program, Troy and I spent the next 6-10 hours FREAKING out about it. Jack was used to being home with me all the time and getting tons of 1on1 attention. The church people were nice, but there were a lot of kids and we were scared that he wouldn't be given 100% quality care.

In a moment of panic, we emailed GAC (Great Aunt Connie) asking if she would be interested in watching Jack 4 days a week. God smiled on us, angels sang, and GAC decided to watch Jack on a one month trial basis!!!!!!!

Uncle Jim and Aunt Connie have been awesome and Jack is always super excited to see them every morning! Connie writes a little diary for us throughout the day, and puts it his diaper bag when Troy picks up J. It's so fun to read it every night, and I really look forward to seeing how J spent his day. I have noticed a dramatic increase in postings that say "Jack and Uncle Jim took a nap together"... =D

Let's see, what else... Jackie Bear is 5 months today! Our big boy is 17 lbs and 2 oz and the happiest little duckie in the world. He loves his Poppa and Momma so much, and adores being naked whenever we give him the chance. His favorite game is "boo!" (not peek-a-boo), and the "squishing game" where we pretend to squish him with a couch pillow. He screams in fake terror and tries to eat our faces when we get close to squish him. He loves to stand and also loves to hit himself in the face with Sophie - his giraffe teething toy which was a present from his friend Kaidin.

We're working on independent sitting, but given that he isn't a fan of bending at the waist, it could be a long ways off. He can roll over like a champ (except when Poppa is looking) and spent about 10 minutes today rolling around on Grandma & Grandpa Q's floor showing off his skills.

Since I didn't post for so long, I've included lots of photos to tempt your "awwww" reflexes.

Reading books with Poppa:

Jack had a playdate with a little no-neck from our birthing classes. Ben seems to have some anger issues, but Jack took it all in stride:

I think Jack's cousin Ashlyn is telling him a secret in this photo:

A reminder that babies, pot, and bathtubs are not a good combination:

And finally, Jack and Poppa doing a dance to the BeeGee's song "Stayin Alive to get some boobie milk:

How to torture your child and make yourself laugh

Undo your nursing bra while forcing your child to "walk" towards you when they're hungry. Cruel? Nah. Hilarious? Yep

Jack is 4 months old and back from vacation!

Happy 1/3 year birthday Jackie Bear! Your Poppa and I are so proud to be your parents! Jack has been on vacation all of last week, but took lots of photos for everyone.

When he heard that we were going to Los Angeles, he decided to study up on the regionSince Poppa wasn't going with him, he thought that perhaps a common tat would help them not miss each other as much
Upon arriving in Los Angeles, he took in the scene with Momma
Decided to hit the beach and ride the waves

To get the sand out of his diaper, he thought that perhaps a bath might be nice. This was also a teachable moment for momma: always turn the flash off for up close photos
Since he was in town, he decided to look up his future wife Lyla. Jack and Lyla have been betrothed since they were zygotes. His feelings are only a little bit hurt that she doesn't look at all interested in him...
He also got to hang out with with two of his favorite people: godmommy Elisa and godmommy Anne! And finally, after all that traveling with Momma and Aunt Amy, he just wanted to take a bath and have some personal time. He is usually very active during baths, but for some reason he wouldn't even make eye contact with me during this one.

Happy 5 year anniversary babe!

After 5 amazing years together, I thought that best way to show you how much I love you is to bring out the gift I gave you for our one year anniversary. Even though some circumstances from the list have changed, my love for you hasn't.



Thank you for your love and friendship, and for giving me our son; you two are the joys in my life. Can't wait for our next 5, 10, 50 years together sweetie.



50 Reasons Why I Love You

1) Because you’re my dream guy
2) Because you always put others first
3) Because you never hesitate to help someone out even if that means they need to use your truck for the 50th time that month
4) Because there is no one on earth that makes a better sandwich than you
5) Because you think that rubbing my feet is “fun”
6) Because not only do you not make fun of my paranoia, but you actually encourage it (flare gun by the bed)
7) Because at our wedding you RAN to the alter to the Superman theme song
8) Because you understand that my Law and Order addiction is an actual disease recognized by the American Medical Association
9) Because I’ve loved you since I was 17…an infatuation over 3+ years isn’t a crush, it’s destiny
10) Because you know when I need my space, but are always willing to give me a snuggle when I need that too
11) Because you love God as much as I do
12) Because you’re nice to all my friends and even my anti-social ex roommate (this was Megan’s contribution)
13) Because every time I see you I think of what a lucky lady I am
14) Because other women are jealous of me because you’re so hot!
15) Because you have a wonderful and loving family
16) Because you make great stuffed animal porn
17) Because when we’re watching a movie that has a scene in it that someone gets stabbed, gets their head cut off, or gets pierced by a stick you never fail to say “I guess he got the POINT”, or “I guess he let it go to his head”
18) Because even though you won’t kill spiders for me, you’ll remove them from my presence
19) Because you make a mean meatloaf
20) Because people have given you nicknames like “wonder boyfriend”, “wonder fiancé”, and “wonder husband”
21) Because you built me a special chapstick holder for my bedside table
22) Because you carry chapstick in your pocket for me because I WILL lose mine
23) Because you think my fart jokes are funny
24) Because you let me make fart noises on your arm
25) Because you think my anal-retentive budgeting is “cute”
26) Because right now you’re a great key grip, but soon you’ll be an amazing movie director
27) Because you sing a silly song to food that you love before you eat it “my name is “punkin” bread, and I am tasty”
28) Because when you call me an ice queen it’s not because I’m mean, but because I won’t let you turn up the thermostat because I want to save money
29) Because every girl should be so lucky as to marry a bona fide trained Ninja
30) Because you can do the robot better than anyone I’ve ever seen
31) Because you always put the toilet seat down
32) Because you always hold my hand in public, when we’re driving, when we’re at the movies, or even when we’re sitting on the couch
33) Because you do an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression that’s the best I’ve ever seen
34) Because you draw me pictures on the bathroom mirror to brighten my day
35) Because “you have the most beautiful blue eyes”
36) Because you think that it’s ok for me to just have a Costco hot dog for dinner
37) Because if I accidentally forget to say “I Love You” on the phone, you’ll call me back
38) Because you think chicks with short hair are hotter than those with long hair
39) Because you think my glasses make me look “hot” instead of “nerdy”
40) Because when I say “I love you, you know” you KNOW that the next line is “I know”
41) Because you will spend five hours mowing my grandpa’s lawn
42) Because you never give me grief about ordering water at a restaurant even though you know I’m just going to drink your soda
43) Because your idea of a Christmas card is drawing me a picture of two reindeer(s) humping
44) Because we can have a great time anywhere
45) Because when we go out to dinner and I say “let’s go some place nice” you know I mean Burger King instead of Taco Bell
46) Because we bought each other the same card for our 1 year anniversary
47) Because you always spend the time to pick out the best/silliest cards for me
48) Because you always give my mom hugs
49) Because when I start to take myself too seriously, you always let me know in a funny way that doesn’t hurt my feelings
50) Because you choo-choo-choosed me

Jack appears to have been "scared straight"

Troy thinks taking him to the doc "scared him straight" because overall he was a very good boy once we got home from the doctor yesterday. He fussed at the boob just once, right before bed, but calmed right down after I pumped to give him a bottle.

A big problem for us has been his sleep. Because we had to stop using the swaddle after he rolled from his back to his belly while fully swaddled, his sleep went from 10 hrs in a stretch...to 2-3. He even used to be able to put himself to sleep if he was drowsy enough.

So, last night I swaddled him for bed and let him fall asleep in his crib. We then watched the video monitor like a pair of hawk parents. After his first REM cycle (45 min), I snuck in there and removed his arms from the swaddle but left his belly and legs all snuggly in there. It worked! He slept until midnight at which point he needed a quick rock to get back to sleep. Then he didn't wake up again until 4 am! Since the quick rock was so quick, I count it as sleeping almost through the night.

Besides Jack, two other things forgot what it was like to sleep through the night - my boobs. I woke up this am and ouch!

Update to Butthole McGee, Mr. McFussy Pants

Jack's pediatrician was on vacation, but I took him to her partner. And of course they couldn't find a medical reason for his newfound belief that my boob is trying to murder him. I breastfed him in the room in front of the doc and OF COURSE he ate like a perfect angel.

I also did some research last night and it sounds like he is on what they call a "nursing strike" which is basically an inexplicable freakout at the boob. Le sigh. The good news is that it only lasts between 2-4 days.

And then we came home and he ate calmly from the boob like nothing had ever happened.

And in "that's my boy" news, Jack pooped so loudly in the waiting room at the doctor that a 7 year old boy got the uncontrollable giggles.

Jack is 16 lbs and gaining 3/4 of an oz a day which is off the charts good. She also said he was one of the most alert 14 week olds she has ever seen, and that cognitively he is very advanced. Looks like all the CSI Miami and Golden Girls that I make him watch is working!

I kid about the shows of course. He is only allowed to watch YouTube videos of pandas sneezing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRH3iTQPrk

The shirt says it all:

Today I got my ass kicked by a 14 week old

I'm at a loss and can't stop crying and just feel DEFEATED. At one point today I told Jack I understood parents who shook their babies. I would never ever ever ever harm him, but I understand the desperation that they must be feeling when nothing else is working.

Jack was a good boy when he was happy, but whenever I tried to feed him, he just straight up lost his shit. Every feeding was like a battle with a UFC fighter, but the ref Big John was not there to stop the fight when I tried to tap out.

Jack was arching his back and screaming bloody murder for about half of his feedings today. Naps were a fight but I did get him to take a 2 hr nap which is rare...I think he just gave up after being so tired from screaming despite everything I tried to do. And no, I didn't let him cry it out alone in his crib - he finally fell asleep in my arms after walking around for what felt like an eternity. I took his temp, but he doesn't have a fever. I gave him a little Tylenol because he was acting like he was in so much pain. I haven't given him meds since his circumcision, but I was at a loss for what's wrong with my baby.

Tonight he was in rare form and couldn't be comforted by my boob which is usually a no-brainer. Troy suggested I pump and so I did and then gave Jack a bottle. He calmed down but wanted more, so I tried to put him back on the boob and it was just the same thing all over again. I pumped some more and gave him another bottle which finally knocked him out. Troy was laying on the floor of Jack's room rubbing my legs while I just bawled.

I'm going to call the ped tomorrow because I can't keep going like this. I'm trying to work 50 hrs from home while taking care of a 3 month old and it's just not working when lately every feeding and nap has turned in to a 2 hour fight that I can't win.

I'm just over the feeding fights, and feel like an utter failure. I don't drink, but I may start.

Jack has achieved an important 3 month milestone

According to the AAP, all 3 month old babies should successfully be able to give their parents the stink-eye when said parent attempt to try to make them nap.Raising ones little fist in defiance is clearly a sign of an over-achiever

I have adopted a new highly illegal habit...

Money laundering...

Dear Jack

Remember when you used to sleep up to 10 hrs by yourself? Well, I remember it...PLEASE return to your old ways because this waking yourself up every 2 hrs is bullshit.

Jabba the Jack says "nochin noproblem"

It's a bird, it's a plane...

Nope, it's just a super cute baby!

Jack just rolled!

Woot!

Update 7:30 am: Jack won't roll again so I think Troy is starting to think I made it up. Oh, and apparently rolling is REALLY exciting...so exciting that he didn't want to sleep at all last night and woke up at 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, and for good at 6am this morning. Oy

So Jack, please do tell us about your compost pile...

Thanks to Great Auntie Lulu & Uncle John for the onesie! Jack (and I) can't wait to see you both in Sept!

Jack photos!

Jack and Grandma Barb are both proud to be Americans (homemade burp cloth made by Cousin K):
Special thanks to my interwebs friend T for making Jack an original shirt so that he can be stylin at church:


And lastly, baby vampire says "more milk please":

When was the last time your bathtime was this cute?

Two very important birthdays

Happy birthday America! This is the first Fourth of July in Washington that I can remember where it isn't raining. We also have a bird's eye view of the downtown fireworks tonight, so I'm extremely excited and blessed to be living in this gorgeous town.

And happy 3 month birthday to Mr. Jack Barry! I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown. 90 days ago, the lord blessed your father and I with the sweetest, most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

Jack, you have only been in this world for a short time, but you immediately became the most important thing ever in my life. You are the light of our lives and Poppa and I love you more than anything in the whole universe.

Even with how much we love you, we still like to mess with your hair during bath time. Despite only being 3 months old, you can pull off "punk rock mowhawk baby". We love you Jackie!

Howdy pad'ner

"My name is Jack Barry, and I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick some ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum..."

It's on like Donkey Kong

I'm declaring war on a poor body image. For far too long, I've picked apart my appearance with the precision of the two plastic surgeons from Nip/Tuck. My talented cousin Erica took this photo at Jack's baptism, and in my mind I zone in on these huge bags under my eyes (I've always had them - it's not just a "tired new parent thing"), the acne scars from first trimester on my cheek, and some crazy rolls on my neck. This is how my mind processes the photo:

Then I took a look at the whole picture, and noticed what a little cutie Jack is.

Then I looked at his eyes. The adorable little apple of my eye has the same bags under his. Why is it that I can love everything about him, but dislike the same thing on me?

I'm over thinking like that, and am done doing it. My body grew and produced a delightful little cherub and birthed him without using medication. The LEAST I could do is give my body a break and celebrate it rather than constantly put it down.