Happy 5 year anniversary babe!

After 5 amazing years together, I thought that best way to show you how much I love you is to bring out the gift I gave you for our one year anniversary. Even though some circumstances from the list have changed, my love for you hasn't.



Thank you for your love and friendship, and for giving me our son; you two are the joys in my life. Can't wait for our next 5, 10, 50 years together sweetie.



50 Reasons Why I Love You

1) Because you’re my dream guy
2) Because you always put others first
3) Because you never hesitate to help someone out even if that means they need to use your truck for the 50th time that month
4) Because there is no one on earth that makes a better sandwich than you
5) Because you think that rubbing my feet is “fun”
6) Because not only do you not make fun of my paranoia, but you actually encourage it (flare gun by the bed)
7) Because at our wedding you RAN to the alter to the Superman theme song
8) Because you understand that my Law and Order addiction is an actual disease recognized by the American Medical Association
9) Because I’ve loved you since I was 17…an infatuation over 3+ years isn’t a crush, it’s destiny
10) Because you know when I need my space, but are always willing to give me a snuggle when I need that too
11) Because you love God as much as I do
12) Because you’re nice to all my friends and even my anti-social ex roommate (this was Megan’s contribution)
13) Because every time I see you I think of what a lucky lady I am
14) Because other women are jealous of me because you’re so hot!
15) Because you have a wonderful and loving family
16) Because you make great stuffed animal porn
17) Because when we’re watching a movie that has a scene in it that someone gets stabbed, gets their head cut off, or gets pierced by a stick you never fail to say “I guess he got the POINT”, or “I guess he let it go to his head”
18) Because even though you won’t kill spiders for me, you’ll remove them from my presence
19) Because you make a mean meatloaf
20) Because people have given you nicknames like “wonder boyfriend”, “wonder fiancé”, and “wonder husband”
21) Because you built me a special chapstick holder for my bedside table
22) Because you carry chapstick in your pocket for me because I WILL lose mine
23) Because you think my fart jokes are funny
24) Because you let me make fart noises on your arm
25) Because you think my anal-retentive budgeting is “cute”
26) Because right now you’re a great key grip, but soon you’ll be an amazing movie director
27) Because you sing a silly song to food that you love before you eat it “my name is “punkin” bread, and I am tasty”
28) Because when you call me an ice queen it’s not because I’m mean, but because I won’t let you turn up the thermostat because I want to save money
29) Because every girl should be so lucky as to marry a bona fide trained Ninja
30) Because you can do the robot better than anyone I’ve ever seen
31) Because you always put the toilet seat down
32) Because you always hold my hand in public, when we’re driving, when we’re at the movies, or even when we’re sitting on the couch
33) Because you do an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression that’s the best I’ve ever seen
34) Because you draw me pictures on the bathroom mirror to brighten my day
35) Because “you have the most beautiful blue eyes”
36) Because you think that it’s ok for me to just have a Costco hot dog for dinner
37) Because if I accidentally forget to say “I Love You” on the phone, you’ll call me back
38) Because you think chicks with short hair are hotter than those with long hair
39) Because you think my glasses make me look “hot” instead of “nerdy”
40) Because when I say “I love you, you know” you KNOW that the next line is “I know”
41) Because you will spend five hours mowing my grandpa’s lawn
42) Because you never give me grief about ordering water at a restaurant even though you know I’m just going to drink your soda
43) Because your idea of a Christmas card is drawing me a picture of two reindeer(s) humping
44) Because we can have a great time anywhere
45) Because when we go out to dinner and I say “let’s go some place nice” you know I mean Burger King instead of Taco Bell
46) Because we bought each other the same card for our 1 year anniversary
47) Because you always spend the time to pick out the best/silliest cards for me
48) Because you always give my mom hugs
49) Because when I start to take myself too seriously, you always let me know in a funny way that doesn’t hurt my feelings
50) Because you choo-choo-choosed me

Jack appears to have been "scared straight"

Troy thinks taking him to the doc "scared him straight" because overall he was a very good boy once we got home from the doctor yesterday. He fussed at the boob just once, right before bed, but calmed right down after I pumped to give him a bottle.

A big problem for us has been his sleep. Because we had to stop using the swaddle after he rolled from his back to his belly while fully swaddled, his sleep went from 10 hrs in a stretch...to 2-3. He even used to be able to put himself to sleep if he was drowsy enough.

So, last night I swaddled him for bed and let him fall asleep in his crib. We then watched the video monitor like a pair of hawk parents. After his first REM cycle (45 min), I snuck in there and removed his arms from the swaddle but left his belly and legs all snuggly in there. It worked! He slept until midnight at which point he needed a quick rock to get back to sleep. Then he didn't wake up again until 4 am! Since the quick rock was so quick, I count it as sleeping almost through the night.

Besides Jack, two other things forgot what it was like to sleep through the night - my boobs. I woke up this am and ouch!

Update to Butthole McGee, Mr. McFussy Pants

Jack's pediatrician was on vacation, but I took him to her partner. And of course they couldn't find a medical reason for his newfound belief that my boob is trying to murder him. I breastfed him in the room in front of the doc and OF COURSE he ate like a perfect angel.

I also did some research last night and it sounds like he is on what they call a "nursing strike" which is basically an inexplicable freakout at the boob. Le sigh. The good news is that it only lasts between 2-4 days.

And then we came home and he ate calmly from the boob like nothing had ever happened.

And in "that's my boy" news, Jack pooped so loudly in the waiting room at the doctor that a 7 year old boy got the uncontrollable giggles.

Jack is 16 lbs and gaining 3/4 of an oz a day which is off the charts good. She also said he was one of the most alert 14 week olds she has ever seen, and that cognitively he is very advanced. Looks like all the CSI Miami and Golden Girls that I make him watch is working!

I kid about the shows of course. He is only allowed to watch YouTube videos of pandas sneezing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRH3iTQPrk

The shirt says it all:

Today I got my ass kicked by a 14 week old

I'm at a loss and can't stop crying and just feel DEFEATED. At one point today I told Jack I understood parents who shook their babies. I would never ever ever ever harm him, but I understand the desperation that they must be feeling when nothing else is working.

Jack was a good boy when he was happy, but whenever I tried to feed him, he just straight up lost his shit. Every feeding was like a battle with a UFC fighter, but the ref Big John was not there to stop the fight when I tried to tap out.

Jack was arching his back and screaming bloody murder for about half of his feedings today. Naps were a fight but I did get him to take a 2 hr nap which is rare...I think he just gave up after being so tired from screaming despite everything I tried to do. And no, I didn't let him cry it out alone in his crib - he finally fell asleep in my arms after walking around for what felt like an eternity. I took his temp, but he doesn't have a fever. I gave him a little Tylenol because he was acting like he was in so much pain. I haven't given him meds since his circumcision, but I was at a loss for what's wrong with my baby.

Tonight he was in rare form and couldn't be comforted by my boob which is usually a no-brainer. Troy suggested I pump and so I did and then gave Jack a bottle. He calmed down but wanted more, so I tried to put him back on the boob and it was just the same thing all over again. I pumped some more and gave him another bottle which finally knocked him out. Troy was laying on the floor of Jack's room rubbing my legs while I just bawled.

I'm going to call the ped tomorrow because I can't keep going like this. I'm trying to work 50 hrs from home while taking care of a 3 month old and it's just not working when lately every feeding and nap has turned in to a 2 hour fight that I can't win.

I'm just over the feeding fights, and feel like an utter failure. I don't drink, but I may start.

Jack has achieved an important 3 month milestone

According to the AAP, all 3 month old babies should successfully be able to give their parents the stink-eye when said parent attempt to try to make them nap.Raising ones little fist in defiance is clearly a sign of an over-achiever

I have adopted a new highly illegal habit...

Money laundering...

Dear Jack

Remember when you used to sleep up to 10 hrs by yourself? Well, I remember it...PLEASE return to your old ways because this waking yourself up every 2 hrs is bullshit.

Jabba the Jack says "nochin noproblem"

It's a bird, it's a plane...

Nope, it's just a super cute baby!

Jack just rolled!

Woot!

Update 7:30 am: Jack won't roll again so I think Troy is starting to think I made it up. Oh, and apparently rolling is REALLY exciting...so exciting that he didn't want to sleep at all last night and woke up at 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, and for good at 6am this morning. Oy

So Jack, please do tell us about your compost pile...

Thanks to Great Auntie Lulu & Uncle John for the onesie! Jack (and I) can't wait to see you both in Sept!

Jack photos!

Jack and Grandma Barb are both proud to be Americans (homemade burp cloth made by Cousin K):
Special thanks to my interwebs friend T for making Jack an original shirt so that he can be stylin at church:


And lastly, baby vampire says "more milk please":

When was the last time your bathtime was this cute?

Two very important birthdays

Happy birthday America! This is the first Fourth of July in Washington that I can remember where it isn't raining. We also have a bird's eye view of the downtown fireworks tonight, so I'm extremely excited and blessed to be living in this gorgeous town.

And happy 3 month birthday to Mr. Jack Barry! I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown. 90 days ago, the lord blessed your father and I with the sweetest, most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

Jack, you have only been in this world for a short time, but you immediately became the most important thing ever in my life. You are the light of our lives and Poppa and I love you more than anything in the whole universe.

Even with how much we love you, we still like to mess with your hair during bath time. Despite only being 3 months old, you can pull off "punk rock mowhawk baby". We love you Jackie!

Howdy pad'ner

"My name is Jack Barry, and I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick some ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum..."